If being invited over for the holiday’s is any sign of being close with people then I am fucked. I have no invites, anywhere. The holidays really do give me a hollow feeling on the inside. Good grief I hate them. I think I need too marry into a large family to a woman who is at least 10 years younger than I and willing to have a bunch of kids. That, and develop closer relationships.
I’ve been wondering why I always seek approval. Why do I always think everything I think and feel is wrong? Why do I continuously question my own judgment? Maybe it’s not important why. Those feelings are there. I do need to get over them.
I can’t get my shit together. I took a cab too work today…again. I’m always just behind in everything and trying to play catch up. My credit sucks (not really the same issue I realize but the root cause is the same I believe). How do I get things together so I can pay off my debt, save, buy a car and buy a new house? Good grief, I’m being pulled into so many directions at once. How do I become that man, a better man? Many of you might say that I’m already great or at least kind of nifty but really, there’s no way to sugar coat this, if I was that man I wouldn’t be in the situation I’m in.
I met with my Race Conference team today; Div Chick (Diversity Council), and Nervous Nel (HR Director for the City of
After the 90 minute meeting I grabbed a bite to eat at zPizza. From there I went to yet another dreadful of my Project Communications class. At least we had a guest speaker for class this evening. It turns out that the guest speaker was cut from the same cloth that my teacher is. In fact, the guest had hired my instructor over 30 years go to teach at Saint Mary’s. It was going to be yet another fairly boring night.
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